He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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