She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
