your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
