Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
