she was so not down for the gang bang
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
