Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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