Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We left an ass print on the piano.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
