My hand turned me down
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
