so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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