I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just pee around me
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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