seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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