therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
