He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
