I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
