From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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