if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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