Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
