On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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