the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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