The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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