I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
