cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
