that's an acceptable place to lick
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
