Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
