i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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