new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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