This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
