If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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