Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
