school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
