The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
