Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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