please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This is the high leading the old right now
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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