We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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