I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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