We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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