Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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