Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
