the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
