I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
