i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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