the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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