STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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