Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
