Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
