i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
