Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
