my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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