please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
