I'm going to jail i love you
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
