So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
