I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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