You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
