I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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